You Are Not Transgender

There are very real concerns, issues, and debates facing each and every Christ follower every day.  To oversimplify with a “God is for everyone and loves everyone does these issues a very real disservice.”  To overly hate, and throw scriptures in people’s faces to belittle, or destroy them is also doing a very real disservice.  One thing that is without a doubt true; we’re all people.  Besides being people, we all search for identifiers.  Identifiers help us know who we are, what brings us worth, what drives us, what makes us whole.  In the search for these identifiers we bring about assumptions (prejudices) that help us see people based on identifiers.  This is extremely dangerous, because we were not meant to be defined by identifiers.  My skin color makes me no more valuable than your gender, or sexual preference.  So, stop it.  You are not a black man.  You are not a homosexual. You are not a transgender.  These are not who you are.  These may be characteristics of who you are, but they are not meant to be your identity.  You were not created with the sole purpose of homosexuality defining your worth, value, purpose, etc.  

You were created to be a child of God, who shines brightly in a pitch black cave.

You were meant to be valued because of whose you are.

It’s very simple.  You were created to thrive as a creation made by a creator to be loved and to live.  This is what makes you valuable.

With that said, titles are stupid.  I demand you call me “Dr.” because I have a P.H.D., because that P.H.D. gives me value, worth, etc.  Well, it doesn’t.  You were just as valuable in your undergrad, and you didn’t demand others call you “Undergrad Mitchell.”  You do not walk around saying “oh, that’s James, you know the straight guy.”  So, stop categorizing people based on characteristics, it’s wrong, and it goes against scripture.  

Okay, I’ve made one point, but didn’t address the thousands of other concerns we face, I know.  It’s not easy to figure out how to solve the sins of the world.  I do think if we can recognize what brings us value, worth, purpose, etc.  It’s at least one step in the right direction.

The Revolution of the Dissatisfied

We crave satisfaction.  When satisfaction is not there we will do any and everything to attain it.  We will war with ourselves and with our friends and our families until that lingering itch is scratched.  It drives us mad with a passion like nothing else and you must have it, now!  For many, sex drives them into a ferocious cycle of desire, drive, reception, climax, disappointment, and desire again and again.  For others it is food, drugs, alcohol, work, video games, family, school, politics, writing, poetry, art, music, etc.  We are a driven people and we will have satisfaction.  We will kill others if we have to but we will have it, for it is our right to be happy is it not?  What happens when our hunger goes unmet?

We must be doing something wrong.  Look at the magazines on the shelves.  Do they not all promise 50 ways to improve your sex life, 7 habits of highly successful people, or the new diet that is guaranteed to shed those pesky pounds?  We fall for lie, after lie, after lie about what will make us happy.  We even believe yet a bigger lie that says we must be satisfied!

You will never be satisfied.  Ever.  It’s okay.  Once you accept this fact, it’s easier to recognize what is truly important and stop chasing after broken promises.  So, it seems cruel to create humanity with a drive for something that cannot be attained.  I totally understand that and can really relate.  I can’t tell you the why without it sounding completely religiously cheesy.  What I can tell you is this.  The longing, the drive can bring into your life opportunities for character.  This lack of satisfaction, if placed into the right area of your heart, can drive you to become a more affectionate, caring lover of people and God.  It can teach you patience, and cultivate in you an understanding of others hurts like never before.  This lack of satisfaction can ultimately lead you into becoming a better you.  Now, if my option is to never long again or to be a better spouse, a better friend, and a better lover of God, I think the choice is very clear.

So, the time to accept our lack of satisfaction for what it is, is now!  It’s time for us to recognize the truth of why we are this driven, and to embrace it, or you can choose to go on the roller coaster of life looking for that which is unattainable.  This is completely your choice.

The Sh*t Happens Revolution

“Man, I’m all out of money and my wife hates me, but I’m good, because well (shrugs) shit happens.”  Ever heard that phrase?  It’s a sweeping phrase, that takes away any responsibility and robs the person of facing the facts.  It robs them of healing.  It robs them of change.  This type of thinking leads to a destroyed opportunity for revolution of the heart. 

This isn’t to say that atrocities don’t happen to good people. Believe me, they do.  On the flip side good things happen to bad people.  Blessings and curses rain down on the just and the unjust alike.  How many times have you undeservedly received a blessing?  How many times have you walked through a terrible situation?  I bet you weigh it all out and more times than not you’ve experienced both pretty darn near equally.  But this isn’t about random incidences.  This is about cause and effect.

Your life doesn’t get messed up by accident.  There is a series of events and choices made by you that lead to your life being the life you have now.  Responsibility is key.  Blame shifting, or shrugging it all off as “Shit happens” misses this. You’re up to your eyeballs in debt, did this “just happen?”  Your children are out of control, and want nothing to do with you; did this “just happen?”  You have no job, no education, no car, no friendships; did this “just happen?”

Honesty with yourself is the first step.  Hatred of yourself is the place you never want to go.  There is hope.  There is a way to face your life choices, and receive a new start.  No matter your age, occupation or history there is always today.  You can live the life you want to live.  Wake up, realize shit didn’t just happen and be proactive with life because all you have is one.

A few things I learned becoming a nurse...

Eight years ago I was in seminary school during the nights and sunlighting (is that a thing?) as a banker.  I had no idea what lay ahead for me. I just knew I wanted to preach, teach, and heal the broken hearted.  The best way I knew how to do that was through pastoring a church.  Perhaps it was circumstance.  Perhaps it was reading a very challenging book on organized religion and church leadership.  Perhaps it was a profound experience with Jesus.  Maybe, it was all of it.  I found myself with a deep, burning (no, not kidney stones) to help those in need, and felt like I was living in a world apart from the sick, hurting and destitute.  I felt like the world I lived in was one of people who knew the Bible, who knew how to teach it, but had no idea what people yearned for, they had no connection with humanity.  I wanted more.  I wanted to be in the trenches and so I changed my degree plan.  The following are some things I learned in this process.

1)       If you’re not careful you will find yourself deeply connected to the hurting, so much in fact that you find yourself lost, confused, and hurting too.  So caution is part of the game.  But, also it’s okay to hurt when others hurt.  This was tough, because I hate hurting.  But, through my experiences with clinicals and patients I was able to connect with hurts in a brand new way.

2)      Nurses teach, teach, teach.  Every time we walk into a patient’s room we are teaching with our actions, our words, and our empathy.  It’s brilliant, because in ways I teach more now than I would have had I been a preacher.  Your life is teaching.  So, recognize, and be aware of what you’re choosing to teach with your actions, words, and empathy.

3)      We’re very, very fragile.  It is unbelievable how important sodium, potassium and glucose levels are.  Diet and exercise aren’t just fads, they are real deals.  Our health and our bodies are dying, and yet we treat them like they are invincible.  We are not invincible.   We are created beings, with short opportunities to do everlasting things.  So it’s vitally important we live our lives knowing one day we may need another person to wipe our ass.  This didn’t just make me depressed; it made me realize how very important my job is.  I want to be a damned good ass wiper, because see point number 2.

4)      My journey involved getting married, and having a baby, and preparing for a second child.  This journey taught me the power of trust and faithfulness.  There were so many times I doubted, so many.  I doubted I would make it.  I doubted I could be a nurse.  I doubted God even existed after seeing so much depravity.  But, God always revealed his faithfulness to me, and through me.  Why?  I don’t have a clue.  Maybe cause God kinda sorda digs us.  He is always faithful and he’s building my trust every second of every moment.

Becoming a nurse has taught me numerous things…certainly much more than four.  The journey is far from over, but thank God that NCLEX is finished.

Thankful Revolution

In a previous blog I discussed the topic of being happy.  Now I want to discuss the beauty and wonder of being grateful, or more specifically content.  Did you know there are actually scientific journals that prove the motivation of gratefulness?  In other words the more content and thankful you are the more apt you are to find yourself pursuing things that are healthy for you like more time with your family, or exercise, or a deeper relationship with God.  We have it the opposite don’t we?  So often we find ourselves discontented, unthankful and frustrated.  We pursue things in order that we might be thankful, but it’s never enough.  Pursuits should come from thankfulness, not the other way around.

At the end of the day to be thankful takes skill, effort, and real deep-rooted honesty.  It’s not pseudo “positive thinking.”  It must be done with an analysis that truly recognizes the real things you have…most of the time undeserved.  None of us in America are entitled to rights, freedoms, or the pursuit of the happiness.  But, but the constitution!  You have failed to recognize the constitution was fought, and sacrificed for as a privilege and a gift to you.  My point isn’t to address politics, it’s to slap myself, and yourself upside the head and say “hey, wake up, you are freaking blessed!”

I don’t want to pursue more stuff.  I don’t want to pursue more knowledge.  I don’t want to go another second desiring more for myself or my family before I ask God to help me be thankful.  There’s peace in being thankful.  I know it may seem simple for some, but for some out there like me, you got too busy with life.  You forgot to be thankful, and you’ve become bitter, frustrated and frankly, worried you’ll never have enough.

Maybe none of this makes sense to you, where you’re at.  Maybe you see yourself as a genuinely thankful person.  Good.  Then, maybe you can proclaim how awesome it truly is.  I know once I sat down and analyzed my life, I was thankful.  And it really is awesome.

Revolution of Love

Unconditional love does not exist.   You may think to yourself but a mother’s love is unconditional.  She sees her child and instantly wants to nurture and take care of the child.  I guarantee you this is not true.  Some women actually despise their children and sink into a deep depression once the child is born, it’s called postpartum blues and it is a real condition.  When we’re honest with ourselves and everyone around us about the lack of unconditional love in existence then the discussions we have will change.

Jesus never once said to anyone “don’t worry, God loves you no matter what.”  This is important to recognize because we can have honest discussions about what it takes to receive God’s love.  Because there is at least one very real condition to receiving his love.  It’s called belief.  Before you start yelling at me “but what about Grace?!” you must recognize the power of belief.  God allows belief to change everything and depending on where you lie in the equation this is either extremely amazing, or extremely sad, but both cannot argue its extremely profound implications.

This should rattle us to the core!  We should be encouraged as believers that God totally rocked our world when he allows our eternity to be based on belief.  We should also be completely broken in our inner most being about the meaning this has for those that don’t believe.  The reason unconditional love doesn’t exist is because justice couldn’t be served and grace would be a joke with no conditions.

Conditional love is beautiful.

Jesus didn’t come to get rid of conditions, but to simplify them.  The conditions were pages, and pages and pages long.  We could never add up!  Jesus made it simple.  Believe in me.  The revolution came through Jesus….and love, well love was made accessible to all and that my friends absolutely astonishes me.