Revolution Requires Conflict

-(To Clarify this isn’t a story about my wife and I, it’s a story about a real couple in this real world)-

I spent an entire weekend researching text messages, phone logs, Facebook conversations and I desperately wanted answers.  My wife had felt distant, cold, and disconnected from me for weeks now.  I noticed it one weekend when I attempted to kiss her and all I received was a routine practiced kiss.  You know what I mean?  It was like she just went through the motions, like a mechanic who was tired of doing yet another oil change.  She wanted more, and I was desperate to give it to her.

“What is going on?” I asked in a brief moment of bravery.

“Nothing, quit asking me, geez,” she said trying to escape quickly.

“I mean it, I will not let you get away that easily,” I quickly retorted.  “As a matter of fact, I won’t stop asking until I get an answer!”

“Fine! I haven’t loved you in a long time!” she let it out.  Her face went cold.  Empty.

“What?” tears already swelling in my eyes, I barely got it out.

“As a matter of fact, I don’t even find you attractive,” the laundry list began to spill out of her mouth.  “You’re like a boy I’ve settled for, when I really deserve a sexy man!”

“You can leave now!” I didn’t know what else to say.  I demanded a response, but what now?  I began sobbing with no intent of maintaining any form of control.  I was broken.  My heart utterly destroyed.  She left.

This was day one of my horrible nightmare turned reality.  How would I fix this?  I can’t fix my face.  I can’t fix her love for me.  But dammit I wanted to.  And dammit, I deserved better, so maybe I didn’t want to.

Day two revealed more truth, as if it could get worse.  She was home, and I was home.  I couldn’t let it go.  I questioned her over and over getting nowhere, ‘til finally she broke, “I want to be with someone else.”  And there it was.

The truth.

My heart needed a revolution.  Her heart needed a revolution.  Our marriage needed a revolution.

Revolution

requires

conflict.

Our story didn’t end there.  You see enough sad news when you turn on your television.  This is a story of redemption, of reconciliation, and of revolution.  In the book of Romans Paul talks very bluntly about suffering. “We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

If we run, we miss the opportunity that suffering has the ability to work in us.  I knew this. I didn’t run.  I endured.  And believe me friend; this isn’t some sappy love story.  It’s a true story.  One of commitment, trials and immense pain.  Do not run to pain; do not run from pain, but when it comes endure.  The truest revolution of the heart can’t happen if you run. 

This is my story of almost divorce, turned to beauty.  Not everyone is so lucky.  But it’s not too late for a revolution of your heart.  God wants to comfort you.  He wants to heal you.  He wants to give you new heart.  Ezekiel says it best, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

“I love you sweetie” I said today.

“I’m madly in love with you,” she said.

Wow. 

(This is based on a true story, to reveal you’re not alone in your pain and that there is hope)