Revolution of the Ego

I knew all the answers.  Now, I know all the questions, and barely an answer.  Funny how life does that.  Maybe it’s human nature, maybe it’s pride, maybe it’s whatever you want to call it but at one time or another you will think, and believe you have it all figured out.  I was only 17 when I figured it all out.  Life was about love.  Oh, and not cussing, drinking, doing drugs, having sex, or being mean.  My best friend and I even created a “Ask a Christian” notebook and passed it around the high school.  Our intentions were to get the questions people had and find them/give them the answers.  Wow. 17. 
 

All the answers.

We were one step away from perfection.  Lust.  The ultimate vice for a teenager.  Beautiful women were our downfall, but also in the end our first step toward humility, and redemption.  Funny how that works too, for a boy.   When I first accepted Jesus as my savior, and Lord I was invited by a girl with a promise of a kiss.  A girl was my both my vice and my saving grace…wow the power of a woman. (shameless plug for women’s lib)

Conviction comes in many forms, but what I’ve noticed is when it’s truly of God it doesn’t make you run away, it draws you deeper.  When my best bud and I decided to start a church because we had all the answers, we were told to maybe pursue time away, maybe a break to get closer to God.  We thought it sounded awesome, we were already perfect, now we can also have the scriptures memorized and change the world!!

Changing the world is still a huge part my of deepest desire.  I can’t get rid of it, but I will say our first day away in our “break” at Master’s Commission (A discipleship program in KC), we were stunned to find out we had not one answer.  We were ridiculously far from perfect and lust was but a mild speed bump in the afflictions of our souls. 

I know what you’re thinking, because I’m thinking it too, what’s the point of this blog entry?! Well, the point is until you know you’ve got more questions than answers your journey will not begin.  Believing you’ve got it all figured out only begets a huge ego, and robs you of your ability to connect with any other human being, and especially robs you of your greatest joy a deeper connection with God.